How People Don't Change
A week or two ago we were with family and I was talking about things the boys have been getting in trouble for recently. They are good kids, but also very active and tend to get themselves in trouble for something silly every day. The two boys are also quite different, and each has their go to issues that pop up over and over again. Someone asked me what I got in trouble for when I was little. I said that I thought I was pretty well behaved as a child, but I did remember being reprimanded for being contrary and sassy. The whole room rolled their eyes and said surprise, surprise!
I mean, I guess I know I am still like that but it did make me a little self-conscious to see everyone agree on it so readily. I even Googled "how to be more agreeable" before laughing at myself and closing out the search window. My husband tells me all the time that people don't change. It usually comes up because I wanted him to react differently to something, and he reacted the exact same way he has for the last decade.
We were with my parents this weekend and we were playing Scrabble, which I have played with them a hundred times. The game went exactly as it always has for twenty years. My mom sighs and stares at her letters, never coming up with a word she likes. My dad comes up with all sorts of words that we have to look up because most of them aren't allowed. Finally he comes up with one that is allowed and scores 42 points with it. I have a decent game, beat my mom and lose to my dad. Repeat. For twenty years.
In children, this idea that people never change is fascinating. The idea that they were born as these little humans with specific personality traits is like a fun mystery. Each year as they grow you get to see more and more of their personality, how they view the world, and the specific struggles and tendencies that they have. You appreciate the positive things that make them unique and give them some grace on their weaknesses, as they learn more about themselves as well.
In adults, we don't do as good of a job at this. We take all of the positive traits for granted and often focus on the weaknesses, wishing that someone would be more of the person we wanted them to be. This, of course, does nothing but frustrate us.
What's interesting about this concept is that part of what we love about those people who are constant in our lives, is that they are the same all the time. Having people who we know will be there for us, in the same way they always have been before, gives us a sense of security in our lives. These rocks allow us to grow, but always come back to the comfort of home, family and friends. Imagine a holiday family gathering. They are usually always exactly the same, yet most people would prefer to go to their own family's versus another's.
The best relationships are often the most "boring" because they are stable, with little drama. This is because people are their true selves all the time and you get the same actions and responses over and over. It's predictable, but safe. So take a minute to be grateful for all those people around you who will act today the same way they have every other day you've known them. They provide the safety and security you let you be you.
Thoughts for the day....
I mean, I guess I know I am still like that but it did make me a little self-conscious to see everyone agree on it so readily. I even Googled "how to be more agreeable" before laughing at myself and closing out the search window. My husband tells me all the time that people don't change. It usually comes up because I wanted him to react differently to something, and he reacted the exact same way he has for the last decade.
We were with my parents this weekend and we were playing Scrabble, which I have played with them a hundred times. The game went exactly as it always has for twenty years. My mom sighs and stares at her letters, never coming up with a word she likes. My dad comes up with all sorts of words that we have to look up because most of them aren't allowed. Finally he comes up with one that is allowed and scores 42 points with it. I have a decent game, beat my mom and lose to my dad. Repeat. For twenty years.
In children, this idea that people never change is fascinating. The idea that they were born as these little humans with specific personality traits is like a fun mystery. Each year as they grow you get to see more and more of their personality, how they view the world, and the specific struggles and tendencies that they have. You appreciate the positive things that make them unique and give them some grace on their weaknesses, as they learn more about themselves as well.
In adults, we don't do as good of a job at this. We take all of the positive traits for granted and often focus on the weaknesses, wishing that someone would be more of the person we wanted them to be. This, of course, does nothing but frustrate us.
What's interesting about this concept is that part of what we love about those people who are constant in our lives, is that they are the same all the time. Having people who we know will be there for us, in the same way they always have been before, gives us a sense of security in our lives. These rocks allow us to grow, but always come back to the comfort of home, family and friends. Imagine a holiday family gathering. They are usually always exactly the same, yet most people would prefer to go to their own family's versus another's.
The best relationships are often the most "boring" because they are stable, with little drama. This is because people are their true selves all the time and you get the same actions and responses over and over. It's predictable, but safe. So take a minute to be grateful for all those people around you who will act today the same way they have every other day you've known them. They provide the safety and security you let you be you.
Thoughts for the day....
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