Disappointment
I think New Year's resolutions are a funny thing, especially because we always have the same ones. Each year we want to be the same better person. We never decide that since it didn't work the year before we'd try something new. I bet there are people who consistently set new goals, achieve them and then do the next goal. And sure, I have done that in some areas of my life. But there are other things I just don't have as much motivation to control I guess.
Instead of being motivating, I feel a sense of disappointment that I even need to have a goal in the first place. Like really, I need to still be working out and eating less? Can't we be done with that one? I am a planner, organized and on top of things (sometimes) - why can't I figure out how to be smaller and stay that way? It's so much work to try to make time to exercise all the time and think about what I am eating, and eat less of it. It's a lifestyle blah blah blah, I know.
I've been avoiding the scale because I don't need it to tell me what I already know. I can manage guilt and shame on my own without its help, thank you very much. And sure, I suppose I'll feel some amount of accomplishment when it goes down a few pounds, because I'll try hard here for a little and I'll see a little progress. But I mostly feel disappointment that I haven't learned how to control healthy living after all these years. It doesn't seem like it should really be that hard, and it seems easy for some people.
Now let's be serious, I really don't yo-yo over giant 40 pound swings or anything, but I do have a theory that your body gets comfortable at a certain weight if you let it. And I need mine to get comfortable at a LOWER ONE. Ugh, so more running, less eating, no fun.
I am being a little dramatic here, but apathy has only gotten me to this point, so I'm trying to spark some sort of action! I think part of the problem is that it only seems like a few pounds, maybe not a huge deal? But 2 becomes 4 becomes 8 becomes 42. Or something like that.
I also like instant gratification, so the fact that I worked out yesterday and ate a salad and am still not smaller is infuriating. What am I supposed to do, repeat those actions for days and days on end?
Yes, yes I guess I am. So that's what I'll be over here doing.
Booooooo....
Thoughts of the day....
Instead of being motivating, I feel a sense of disappointment that I even need to have a goal in the first place. Like really, I need to still be working out and eating less? Can't we be done with that one? I am a planner, organized and on top of things (sometimes) - why can't I figure out how to be smaller and stay that way? It's so much work to try to make time to exercise all the time and think about what I am eating, and eat less of it. It's a lifestyle blah blah blah, I know.
I've been avoiding the scale because I don't need it to tell me what I already know. I can manage guilt and shame on my own without its help, thank you very much. And sure, I suppose I'll feel some amount of accomplishment when it goes down a few pounds, because I'll try hard here for a little and I'll see a little progress. But I mostly feel disappointment that I haven't learned how to control healthy living after all these years. It doesn't seem like it should really be that hard, and it seems easy for some people.
Now let's be serious, I really don't yo-yo over giant 40 pound swings or anything, but I do have a theory that your body gets comfortable at a certain weight if you let it. And I need mine to get comfortable at a LOWER ONE. Ugh, so more running, less eating, no fun.
I am being a little dramatic here, but apathy has only gotten me to this point, so I'm trying to spark some sort of action! I think part of the problem is that it only seems like a few pounds, maybe not a huge deal? But 2 becomes 4 becomes 8 becomes 42. Or something like that.
I also like instant gratification, so the fact that I worked out yesterday and ate a salad and am still not smaller is infuriating. What am I supposed to do, repeat those actions for days and days on end?
Yes, yes I guess I am. So that's what I'll be over here doing.
Booooooo....
Thoughts of the day....
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