Finding a Direction
It's been roughly a week since I've posted. Which is the longest I've gone in a few months. It has been pretty busy, and I imagine that will continue through the holidays, but really it comes down to something more simple, that I have touched on before. Fear.
On one hand, I could write about surface level issues. The trials and tribulations of everyday white suburban life. They would probably be easy to relate to and fun, and they would check the box of serving as a connection to other people, but do they really help me further my purpose?
On the other hand, I could delve into deeper issues. Explore where I stand on different issues, only to realize that I don't know, or have more questions than answers. I could stumble over my opinions, make mistakes, but possibly learn along the way. The fear here though, is that readers can only see what I write, not how I got there, not how opinions change over time. They can't see that some things seem more important than others. They see a shortened, abridged version of a long narrative, and what if I misrepresent myself, or my family?
Speaking of family, there is lots that could be written there. But I know that anything I say will be all that people know. They won't see years and years of history, positive experiences, complicated relationships. Readers only see the story that was the subject of that days post. How do you paint people you love in a good light, while also exploring the issues? You can't. Which is why I avoid it. But if I avoid discussing the people and relationships that are 90% of my life, what is there left to discuss?
When it comes to managing employees, parenting children, or really any other communication based relationship, it takes five positive things to outweigh any one negative thing. I imagine this is true 10x when it is someone you aren't as close with, like a reader. I don't want to write about negative things, because I truly don't have a lot of negativity in my life, but you can't write about sunshine and rainbows every day. I also don't really mean negative as much as I means something that someone could have an opinion on, versus something that they probably will not.
Of course, easy answer is - don't post what I write for anyone else to see. Keep a diary. Don't air your dirty laundry. But come on, that is the whole point, that is the challenge! Never mind the fact that the main readers are my mom and grandma (Hi, mom). Finding a wider audience means shameless self promotion and I am too fearful to do that either.
So, that is where I am. I started this little blog and was nervous. I am past the initial nervousness, but clearly still scared to move forward 100%. In some ways I want to find and interact with a wider audience, but I know that my purpose and content is not clear enough yet. If you read to the end of this rambling however, thank you for giving me a little light to keep searching, and one day I may find a direction that I feel confident exploring 100%!
Thoughts of the day....
On one hand, I could write about surface level issues. The trials and tribulations of everyday white suburban life. They would probably be easy to relate to and fun, and they would check the box of serving as a connection to other people, but do they really help me further my purpose?
On the other hand, I could delve into deeper issues. Explore where I stand on different issues, only to realize that I don't know, or have more questions than answers. I could stumble over my opinions, make mistakes, but possibly learn along the way. The fear here though, is that readers can only see what I write, not how I got there, not how opinions change over time. They can't see that some things seem more important than others. They see a shortened, abridged version of a long narrative, and what if I misrepresent myself, or my family?
Speaking of family, there is lots that could be written there. But I know that anything I say will be all that people know. They won't see years and years of history, positive experiences, complicated relationships. Readers only see the story that was the subject of that days post. How do you paint people you love in a good light, while also exploring the issues? You can't. Which is why I avoid it. But if I avoid discussing the people and relationships that are 90% of my life, what is there left to discuss?
When it comes to managing employees, parenting children, or really any other communication based relationship, it takes five positive things to outweigh any one negative thing. I imagine this is true 10x when it is someone you aren't as close with, like a reader. I don't want to write about negative things, because I truly don't have a lot of negativity in my life, but you can't write about sunshine and rainbows every day. I also don't really mean negative as much as I means something that someone could have an opinion on, versus something that they probably will not.
Of course, easy answer is - don't post what I write for anyone else to see. Keep a diary. Don't air your dirty laundry. But come on, that is the whole point, that is the challenge! Never mind the fact that the main readers are my mom and grandma (Hi, mom). Finding a wider audience means shameless self promotion and I am too fearful to do that either.
So, that is where I am. I started this little blog and was nervous. I am past the initial nervousness, but clearly still scared to move forward 100%. In some ways I want to find and interact with a wider audience, but I know that my purpose and content is not clear enough yet. If you read to the end of this rambling however, thank you for giving me a little light to keep searching, and one day I may find a direction that I feel confident exploring 100%!
Thoughts of the day....
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