The Unimportance of (Almost) Everything
I took a little hiatus from the blog. It was adding to my insecurities, when the very purpose of it was to alleviate some of them. I still struggle with sharing (too much, too little?), but writing does help me clear my thoughts. In the past few months I've created a growing list of topics to hash out as well, so I figured I may as well start on them.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Those of you who know my husband know that, unlike me, he has no desire to over think every detail of his life. It seems incredibly freeing to be like that that, but it just isn't me. I know that so many things I think about never happen or don't matter, but his ability to quickly hone in on what is important is admirable. One day I was lamenting over something petty that I was missing out on, and he said:
"Well, do you actually think it was going to change your life?"
I paused. And I said I didn't know. Do we really ever know which moments are going to be life changing? What experience will be a lasting memory? What connection will bring us closer? When you think back on a memory - did you know it was coming?
I've lived over 12,000 days at this point and don't remember most of them. I'm often a little sad that I feel like I don't even remember most of my childhood - just snippets here and there. I don't remember most of my days at school, dinners at home, even most of my Christmas mornings! Will my kids forget all the fun we've had? Maybe, but hopefully they have warm feelings about their childhood, without being able to pinpoint exactly why.
As I pondered whether missing this particular experience was going to negatively change my life, my husband continued, saying "Not much does." Succinct, but probably true. I instantly thought of another popular quote:
As humans, we are desperate to feel like we are important. We want to feel like we are making a difference in the world- that our life matters! It is OK though, to recognize that we are just a small part of a larger story and once we let go of the pressure to really "be something," I think it is possible to have a very happy existence. Part of this is recognizing that basically everything we do is unimportant.
So much of what our mind focuses on is ultimately without purpose. Think of all the things we focus on during a day: what people think of us (doesn't matter), what other people are doing (doesn't matter), what other people are wearing/buying/using (doesn't matter), material things that we think we want/need (doesn't matter), and more unimportant noise in our head. You should know that stopping this behavior doesn't come simply to anyone!
It is natural to look at others and consider if we should make changes to ourselves. This is the normal cycle of self improvement, and it can be beneficial to all when we are kind to ourselves and kind to others in our thoughts. It is dangerous when a simple comparison becomes a judgement however. Apples and pears are different but one is not necessarily better. Some people may have a preference, but there are other people out there who prefer the other. I, for one, like both.
Use your thoughts to appreciate differences in people, not to create judgement. Remember, you don't have to be like them to be a good person, a happy person or who you are supposed to be. You are on your own path to be the best you, and you should do the next right thing to move yourself in the direction of your choosing. Try to focus on the important today- which might not be much at all!
Thoughts of the day...
_________________________________________________________________________________
Those of you who know my husband know that, unlike me, he has no desire to over think every detail of his life. It seems incredibly freeing to be like that that, but it just isn't me. I know that so many things I think about never happen or don't matter, but his ability to quickly hone in on what is important is admirable. One day I was lamenting over something petty that I was missing out on, and he said:
"Well, do you actually think it was going to change your life?"
I paused. And I said I didn't know. Do we really ever know which moments are going to be life changing? What experience will be a lasting memory? What connection will bring us closer? When you think back on a memory - did you know it was coming?
I've lived over 12,000 days at this point and don't remember most of them. I'm often a little sad that I feel like I don't even remember most of my childhood - just snippets here and there. I don't remember most of my days at school, dinners at home, even most of my Christmas mornings! Will my kids forget all the fun we've had? Maybe, but hopefully they have warm feelings about their childhood, without being able to pinpoint exactly why.
As I pondered whether missing this particular experience was going to negatively change my life, my husband continued, saying "Not much does." Succinct, but probably true. I instantly thought of another popular quote:
As humans, we are desperate to feel like we are important. We want to feel like we are making a difference in the world- that our life matters! It is OK though, to recognize that we are just a small part of a larger story and once we let go of the pressure to really "be something," I think it is possible to have a very happy existence. Part of this is recognizing that basically everything we do is unimportant.
So much of what our mind focuses on is ultimately without purpose. Think of all the things we focus on during a day: what people think of us (doesn't matter), what other people are doing (doesn't matter), what other people are wearing/buying/using (doesn't matter), material things that we think we want/need (doesn't matter), and more unimportant noise in our head. You should know that stopping this behavior doesn't come simply to anyone!
It is natural to look at others and consider if we should make changes to ourselves. This is the normal cycle of self improvement, and it can be beneficial to all when we are kind to ourselves and kind to others in our thoughts. It is dangerous when a simple comparison becomes a judgement however. Apples and pears are different but one is not necessarily better. Some people may have a preference, but there are other people out there who prefer the other. I, for one, like both.
Use your thoughts to appreciate differences in people, not to create judgement. Remember, you don't have to be like them to be a good person, a happy person or who you are supposed to be. You are on your own path to be the best you, and you should do the next right thing to move yourself in the direction of your choosing. Try to focus on the important today- which might not be much at all!
Thoughts of the day...
Comments
Post a Comment