In the Middle of the Shouting
We live in a community full of different people, with different backgrounds, families, experiences and personalities that shape the lens through which we view this world. We also use that lens to view the actions and words of others and make opinions about them. In the midst of the current tensions throughout the country, I think it is important to make an effort to see the world, not only through our own lens, but to attempt to borrow other's lenses to get a better sense of how and why they see things the way they do.
I am uncomfortable with the violence and hatred in the world today. I am raising three beautiful and innocent human beings, and right now I am their entire world. Too soon, I know, the world will become bigger for them and they will look to peers, leaders, the news, the internet, and who knows where else for the information they crave to make their own judgements and opinions. In reflecting about how to guide them through this minefield I recognize that the filtering process I use to take in information and make opinions is complex, and working through the different pieces of this process may shine some light on how the world can seem so divided right now.
I have always been opinionated and direct, and it hasn't always served me well, although it often does. But another, more nuanced side of my personality, is that I also often can understand people's opposing points of view, and agree, to some extent, with both. I often find myself squarely in the middle.
In the online wars of the world, I feel like people are too quick to shout their points of view. We all know that being shouted at does not convince us to change our thinking, yet the shouter is so desperate for someone to listen and understand that they try it anyway. I get it. I shout at my kids all the time, and it never works. Parenting is a quick way to understand how people work. If something doesn't work for a 4 year old, it usually doesn't work for anyone.
The real issue with the shouting is that it also takes away the safe space for people to grow in understanding. In order to better understand another person, you have to let your walls down, just a little, and be open to the idea that some of your opinions may be wrong. This requires being vulnerable.
This is the problem with where we are at as a country today. We have made it impossible for anyone to feel safe being vulnerable. Especially online, saying something in slightly the wrong way, asking a legitimate question, revealing some innate bias or admitting that you don't know all the answers will immediately get you attacked, name called and bullied. More shouting. This, in turn, leads to defensiveness. Once people feel attacked, they will not try to understand again, because being vulnerable led them to be hurt.
What we are left with today is millions of people who feel attacked, for as many reasons as there are people. Some of their reasons are more justified than others. But remember, people are selfish and react to their own feelings of defensiveness before they will defend another. Because I believe people are good at the core, I truly believe that everyone wants to listen and understand others better. I believe that people want to know how other people view the world and create a community where everyone can thrive. I believe people seek equality and want to move away from things that divide and separate us.
Thoughts of the day....
I am uncomfortable with the violence and hatred in the world today. I am raising three beautiful and innocent human beings, and right now I am their entire world. Too soon, I know, the world will become bigger for them and they will look to peers, leaders, the news, the internet, and who knows where else for the information they crave to make their own judgements and opinions. In reflecting about how to guide them through this minefield I recognize that the filtering process I use to take in information and make opinions is complex, and working through the different pieces of this process may shine some light on how the world can seem so divided right now.
I have always been opinionated and direct, and it hasn't always served me well, although it often does. But another, more nuanced side of my personality, is that I also often can understand people's opposing points of view, and agree, to some extent, with both. I often find myself squarely in the middle.
In the online wars of the world, I feel like people are too quick to shout their points of view. We all know that being shouted at does not convince us to change our thinking, yet the shouter is so desperate for someone to listen and understand that they try it anyway. I get it. I shout at my kids all the time, and it never works. Parenting is a quick way to understand how people work. If something doesn't work for a 4 year old, it usually doesn't work for anyone.
The real issue with the shouting is that it also takes away the safe space for people to grow in understanding. In order to better understand another person, you have to let your walls down, just a little, and be open to the idea that some of your opinions may be wrong. This requires being vulnerable.
This is the problem with where we are at as a country today. We have made it impossible for anyone to feel safe being vulnerable. Especially online, saying something in slightly the wrong way, asking a legitimate question, revealing some innate bias or admitting that you don't know all the answers will immediately get you attacked, name called and bullied. More shouting. This, in turn, leads to defensiveness. Once people feel attacked, they will not try to understand again, because being vulnerable led them to be hurt.
What we are left with today is millions of people who feel attacked, for as many reasons as there are people. Some of their reasons are more justified than others. But remember, people are selfish and react to their own feelings of defensiveness before they will defend another. Because I believe people are good at the core, I truly believe that everyone wants to listen and understand others better. I believe that people want to know how other people view the world and create a community where everyone can thrive. I believe people seek equality and want to move away from things that divide and separate us.
Thoughts of the day....
Comments
Post a Comment