To Be a Feminist, or Not
As back to school time has started, I see all the little girls with their empowerment based shirts and backpacks, stating #girlgenius and Play Like a Girl. I understand the messaging, obviously being a woman myself, that we want to raise strong daughters who believe themselves to be equal to men, with limitless possibilities. I now have a daughter, after having two sons, and want her to do whatever she'd like with her life.
I also watched a video recently, in which a baby boy was dressed like a baby girl, and vice versa, and they let adults play with the babies. The purpose of the video was to point out that the baby girls were offered baby dolls and the baby boys were offered robots and cars. It was to bring to light gender roles and how our subconscious makes decisions about what opportunities we give different genders, starting at an early age. I have witnessed this from the moment I found out I was having a girl - pink bows, baby dolls, ballerinas and more.
Is this bad though, is the underlying question? And, as usual, I can't decide. I believe that there truly are differences between boys and girls that come from a biological source and are not the result of environment, parenting, etc. My boys have been active and energetic from day one, whereas my daughter has been different - more talkative, less wrestling. Are all boys and all girls like this? I know the answer is no. But I do think there are tendencies among genders. Women tend to be more aware of emotions. They are more emotional, but also more empathetic. I think this is a quality. Men tend to be less emotional, which makes it easier for them to make unbiased decisions. I think this is a quality. Most people are on a range as well, with no right or wrong position.
I think one of the main reasons I don't mind gender norms is that I like being a girl. I have never felt it was second best, I have always felt it was better. Maybe my mom is responsible for that - how we are raised no doubt plays a role. I like getting to participate in feminine things; I feel like I can have all of that and still do anything a man can do, how lucky! I have never felt that I had limitations at work, although I am quite aware of the glass ceiling. I have not pursued the lofty career ambitions that I could have achieved, because I chose to be more physically present for my children, but that was my choice. I am also aware what a privilege it is to have that choice.
Balancing career and parenthood and the privilege of choice are topics for other posts, but back to the matter at hand, is the goal to negate natural difference between boys and girls or celebrate them? I believe the goal of feminism is to celebrate those differences, while also ensuring equal opportunities. I definitely support that. Where it gets tricky is if we have a goal of 50/50 to show equality, for example, but 80% of men and only 20% of women WANT to do a certain thing - do we make policies to get to 50/50? Or do we accept people's choices? Or do we dig in to see if social norms are influencing the choices? As usual, I have all questions and no answers.
I mean, as usual, we probably want to have it all. We want to hold on to those characteristics as individuals that makes us unique, while always having the ability to unapologetically change our mind. We want to choose this, but not that, on a whim and have society completely support and understand us. Unfortunately, there are too many people in this world to understand each individuals preferences and choices, so stereotypes, assumptions and first impressions rule. How will we balance these opposites?
Thoughts of the day...
I also watched a video recently, in which a baby boy was dressed like a baby girl, and vice versa, and they let adults play with the babies. The purpose of the video was to point out that the baby girls were offered baby dolls and the baby boys were offered robots and cars. It was to bring to light gender roles and how our subconscious makes decisions about what opportunities we give different genders, starting at an early age. I have witnessed this from the moment I found out I was having a girl - pink bows, baby dolls, ballerinas and more.
Is this bad though, is the underlying question? And, as usual, I can't decide. I believe that there truly are differences between boys and girls that come from a biological source and are not the result of environment, parenting, etc. My boys have been active and energetic from day one, whereas my daughter has been different - more talkative, less wrestling. Are all boys and all girls like this? I know the answer is no. But I do think there are tendencies among genders. Women tend to be more aware of emotions. They are more emotional, but also more empathetic. I think this is a quality. Men tend to be less emotional, which makes it easier for them to make unbiased decisions. I think this is a quality. Most people are on a range as well, with no right or wrong position.
I think one of the main reasons I don't mind gender norms is that I like being a girl. I have never felt it was second best, I have always felt it was better. Maybe my mom is responsible for that - how we are raised no doubt plays a role. I like getting to participate in feminine things; I feel like I can have all of that and still do anything a man can do, how lucky! I have never felt that I had limitations at work, although I am quite aware of the glass ceiling. I have not pursued the lofty career ambitions that I could have achieved, because I chose to be more physically present for my children, but that was my choice. I am also aware what a privilege it is to have that choice.
Balancing career and parenthood and the privilege of choice are topics for other posts, but back to the matter at hand, is the goal to negate natural difference between boys and girls or celebrate them? I believe the goal of feminism is to celebrate those differences, while also ensuring equal opportunities. I definitely support that. Where it gets tricky is if we have a goal of 50/50 to show equality, for example, but 80% of men and only 20% of women WANT to do a certain thing - do we make policies to get to 50/50? Or do we accept people's choices? Or do we dig in to see if social norms are influencing the choices? As usual, I have all questions and no answers.
I mean, as usual, we probably want to have it all. We want to hold on to those characteristics as individuals that makes us unique, while always having the ability to unapologetically change our mind. We want to choose this, but not that, on a whim and have society completely support and understand us. Unfortunately, there are too many people in this world to understand each individuals preferences and choices, so stereotypes, assumptions and first impressions rule. How will we balance these opposites?
Thoughts of the day...
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