Book Review: The Happiness Project
Last month I finished the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I give it some credit in encouraging me to start this blog. I wanted to see if it would positively contribute to my happiness, and I am pleased to report I think it has. She dedicated a year to see if she could become happier (even though she was already happy). Each month she focused on a different area (Energy, Marriage, Parenting, Work, etc) and set a couple goals for that month. She tracked all her goals every day.
No surprise otherwise it would have been a terrible book, but she did feel happier. She also made it a point to try to change small, doable habits, recognizing that she already had a wonderful and happy life. She just wanted to make sure she was really soaking up all of it and being as happy as she could.
There were a couple resolutions that resonated with me. Some seemed fairly obvious - when she made a point to get enough sleep and exercise and kept her house clutter free, she felt happier. Duh. Some were still easy to understand but things I could work on. For example, she worked hard to do things out of love for her family without expecting praise or appreciation for them. She talked about not expecting gold stars, but simply serving her family for her own happiness. This is a good one for me to work on as I am definitely someone who likes praise for just existing, let alone serving others. I am exaggerating a little of course, but who doesn't like to be appreciated!
I, of course, thought her chapters on marriage and parenting were the most interesting, because I am constantly overanalyzing my relationships with the people who live under my roof. She talked about how men and women feel close to each other in different ways and how children appreciate a light hearted approach to life. She talked about avoiding gossip and finding things that can help you grow. All interesting and being more mindful of them does lead to happiness.
Overall, many of her stories and lessons essentially boiled down to one idea: if you think you are happy, you will be. Also, one way to make other people happy is by being happy yourself. Likewise, to make yourself happy, make other people happy. Apparently happiness is contagious and creating an environment of happiness brings it back to you. Interesting, and noted.
Obviously the book is hundreds of pages long so there is a lot more to it, but the one main takeaway for me was that you will be happier if you try harder to be. Actually that's kind of a bummer. If you could be lazy and happiness would just appear all around you that would sure be nice. And in some ways, I already know this. Easy example, if my kids are restless and rowdy and bored, I sometimes choose to just continue with whatever I was doing, whether it's cleaning, trying to relax, or whatever it might be. The times that I start a project with them, get out the paint supplies, open up a board game or set up a train track it leads to better behavior overall and more happiness in the house. But that takes effort from me. Same thing with her conclusions on eating right, exercising, getting sleep, fostering friendships, and more. Of course you feel better if you try hard at those things. Being disciplined to always do the right thing does lead to a happier state.
What she didn't touch on that I think she should have, is what type of willpower and discipline it took to always choose the thing you know you should be doing. We all fight the lazy pressure to just do nothing, to make the easy choice, to indulge when we shouldn't. We KNOW long term that isn't the right solution, but the instant gratification we get wins.
I don't know what to do to increase my willpower or discipline - especially because being disciplined is so horribly boring. But I will try to increase my happiness by believing I am happy, making positive choices in my life and making others happy. Feel free to check out the book if it sounds interesting!
Thoughts for the day....
No surprise otherwise it would have been a terrible book, but she did feel happier. She also made it a point to try to change small, doable habits, recognizing that she already had a wonderful and happy life. She just wanted to make sure she was really soaking up all of it and being as happy as she could.
There were a couple resolutions that resonated with me. Some seemed fairly obvious - when she made a point to get enough sleep and exercise and kept her house clutter free, she felt happier. Duh. Some were still easy to understand but things I could work on. For example, she worked hard to do things out of love for her family without expecting praise or appreciation for them. She talked about not expecting gold stars, but simply serving her family for her own happiness. This is a good one for me to work on as I am definitely someone who likes praise for just existing, let alone serving others. I am exaggerating a little of course, but who doesn't like to be appreciated!
I, of course, thought her chapters on marriage and parenting were the most interesting, because I am constantly overanalyzing my relationships with the people who live under my roof. She talked about how men and women feel close to each other in different ways and how children appreciate a light hearted approach to life. She talked about avoiding gossip and finding things that can help you grow. All interesting and being more mindful of them does lead to happiness.
Overall, many of her stories and lessons essentially boiled down to one idea: if you think you are happy, you will be. Also, one way to make other people happy is by being happy yourself. Likewise, to make yourself happy, make other people happy. Apparently happiness is contagious and creating an environment of happiness brings it back to you. Interesting, and noted.
Obviously the book is hundreds of pages long so there is a lot more to it, but the one main takeaway for me was that you will be happier if you try harder to be. Actually that's kind of a bummer. If you could be lazy and happiness would just appear all around you that would sure be nice. And in some ways, I already know this. Easy example, if my kids are restless and rowdy and bored, I sometimes choose to just continue with whatever I was doing, whether it's cleaning, trying to relax, or whatever it might be. The times that I start a project with them, get out the paint supplies, open up a board game or set up a train track it leads to better behavior overall and more happiness in the house. But that takes effort from me. Same thing with her conclusions on eating right, exercising, getting sleep, fostering friendships, and more. Of course you feel better if you try hard at those things. Being disciplined to always do the right thing does lead to a happier state.
What she didn't touch on that I think she should have, is what type of willpower and discipline it took to always choose the thing you know you should be doing. We all fight the lazy pressure to just do nothing, to make the easy choice, to indulge when we shouldn't. We KNOW long term that isn't the right solution, but the instant gratification we get wins.
I don't know what to do to increase my willpower or discipline - especially because being disciplined is so horribly boring. But I will try to increase my happiness by believing I am happy, making positive choices in my life and making others happy. Feel free to check out the book if it sounds interesting!
Thoughts for the day....
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