Facing Some Fears Today
Just today, large swaths of the country could be affected by hurricanes, wildfires, and possibly nuclear bombs. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. I try to keep my kids from crossing the street without looking, but that's peanuts compared to these larger threats. How do you understand and prepare for these and many other fears? As a parent, it's difficult to feel like you are truly protecting your children unless you somewhat ignore these issues. Sounds terrible, but it's true.
I know, I know, ignoring them doesn't make them go away. But, people can only cope with so much negativity and anxiety, and at some point you have to turn off your mind and focus on something else. Hope and optimism are what moves society through the day to day, and the only way to maintain those is to believe that some of these bad things won't happen. Is it healthy to play these psychological games with ourselves? We know worrying doesn't help, but what do you do? I think the balance is a multi step approach.
First, identify which things make you nervous. Try to keep the list to three or you will throw yourself into a hysteria. Go ahead and count on some things as absolutes - the sun will come up tomorrow, your husband will come home safely from work, your children will wake up another morning in their beds. I am aware these are not absolutes, but you have to believe in something.
Second, do some research to be more knowledgeable. I would set a time limit so you don't end up down a rabbit hole. Twenty minutes arming yourself with some background knowledge is typically enough to put your fear into perspective.
Third, decide on a plan of action, or not. Most of these fears we cannot do anything about, but some we can. Commit to a small action that can potentially alleviate the fear or change the result. Example: scared of a car crash? Commit to buckling everyone in perfectly every time, driving the speed limit and using your turn signal. More difficult - scared of nuclear warfare? Commit to reading news updates and articles to keep yourself informed, but keep a time limit to avoid harping on the issue.
Pandora flipped on Lukas Graham the other day and these lyrics really stood out:
Children are an excellent way to focus on the good in the world and work toward making a world for them that is worth living in. Each of us plays a small part in this world, but to them we are everything. This gives us a purpose for the day. We cannot be engaged and present parents without understanding our fears, but not allowing them to take away the joy from our days. Take it day by day; if something bad happens, you can deal with it then. For today, focus on the good!
Thoughts of the day....
I know, I know, ignoring them doesn't make them go away. But, people can only cope with so much negativity and anxiety, and at some point you have to turn off your mind and focus on something else. Hope and optimism are what moves society through the day to day, and the only way to maintain those is to believe that some of these bad things won't happen. Is it healthy to play these psychological games with ourselves? We know worrying doesn't help, but what do you do? I think the balance is a multi step approach.
First, identify which things make you nervous. Try to keep the list to three or you will throw yourself into a hysteria. Go ahead and count on some things as absolutes - the sun will come up tomorrow, your husband will come home safely from work, your children will wake up another morning in their beds. I am aware these are not absolutes, but you have to believe in something.
Second, do some research to be more knowledgeable. I would set a time limit so you don't end up down a rabbit hole. Twenty minutes arming yourself with some background knowledge is typically enough to put your fear into perspective.
Third, decide on a plan of action, or not. Most of these fears we cannot do anything about, but some we can. Commit to a small action that can potentially alleviate the fear or change the result. Example: scared of a car crash? Commit to buckling everyone in perfectly every time, driving the speed limit and using your turn signal. More difficult - scared of nuclear warfare? Commit to reading news updates and articles to keep yourself informed, but keep a time limit to avoid harping on the issue.
Pandora flipped on Lukas Graham the other day and these lyrics really stood out:
"Soon I'll be 60 years old, will I think the world is cold?
Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?"
Children are an excellent way to focus on the good in the world and work toward making a world for them that is worth living in. Each of us plays a small part in this world, but to them we are everything. This gives us a purpose for the day. We cannot be engaged and present parents without understanding our fears, but not allowing them to take away the joy from our days. Take it day by day; if something bad happens, you can deal with it then. For today, focus on the good!
Thoughts of the day....
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