The Case for Doing Everything
You hear it over and over again - learn to say no! Don't stretch yourself so thin, you don't need to do everything. The idea here is that you aren't enjoying anything if you try to do too much. You spend all your time preparing and rushing to the next thing and are never present in the moment. You never have enough time to really appreciate the thing you are doing because you are always preoccupied with the next thing on the list.
I understand the sentiment, but I disagree. Why would you not try to do all the things? Have all the experiences? Isn't the effort almost always worth it?
I do think part of the reason I feel this way is my personality. I have a lot of energy. I like to have a lot going on - I feel energized by it all. I like to see a lot of people, do a lot of things. I get bored very easily. I almost always think the extra effort to see a friend, travel, pack up the kids, prep for the next day, plan for a group, get supplies or whatever else goes into doing it all - I almost always think it's worth it for the experiences, the friendships and the memories. Many people don't.
Let's say you haven't seen a friend for a couple months. So you make plans for dinner. But then there is the hassle of finding a babysitter, getting the house ready, getting yourself ready to go, getting to where you are going. Let's say you get there and it's raining and there is a long wait for a table and you have to rush through dinner to make it back by the time you said you would be back. Was it worth all that inconvenience for 20 minutes of conversation with a friend? YES.
Relationships don't nurture themselves. They take effort. If you want to have people in your life, you need to be in theirs. And it's not always going to be on your timetable. Have you ever thought back and regretted meeting up with someone? Regretted going out of your way to say hello, to stop by someones house, to meet up with a group? I doubt it.
The anxiety usually comes from the experience either not going as you expected or as you would have liked. You wanted to have more time. You didn't want to have to make the drive. You didn't want to leave early to get the kids to bed. Someone was whiny, behaving badly - it might even have been you. ;)
Recently, my family and I went for a weekend to Chicago, which in my head would be rainbows and puppy dogs and family bliss. Of course in reality, the baby never slept when she was "supposed" to, the kids were wild at every restaurant we went to and my middle son threw tantrums at basically every turn. It wasn't exactly "fun." I would have lower expectations for next time, and possibly change up the schedule to have a little better success. BUT, my kids got to walk the streets of downtown Chicago, see the buildings and the parks, have the fun of a sleepover in a new place. We sat on the balcony looking at city lights, ate Chicago style hot dogs and walked down the city streets to get a donut. If I hadn't done it, they wouldn't have had those experiences. If I waited until my kids were older and better able to handle the situation, I would never have experienced their joy and innocence at seeing the city.
I never want to look back and say, I wish I had done more fun things with the kids but I was too nervous to try them. Or, I wish I was still in touch with those people but it's just hard to find the time. Of course everyone needs downtime and time to unwind and just be. But, I would encourage you - get out and be with people you love, experiencing all that is out there. You will rarely regret it!!
Thoughts for the day....
I understand the sentiment, but I disagree. Why would you not try to do all the things? Have all the experiences? Isn't the effort almost always worth it?
I do think part of the reason I feel this way is my personality. I have a lot of energy. I like to have a lot going on - I feel energized by it all. I like to see a lot of people, do a lot of things. I get bored very easily. I almost always think the extra effort to see a friend, travel, pack up the kids, prep for the next day, plan for a group, get supplies or whatever else goes into doing it all - I almost always think it's worth it for the experiences, the friendships and the memories. Many people don't.
Let's say you haven't seen a friend for a couple months. So you make plans for dinner. But then there is the hassle of finding a babysitter, getting the house ready, getting yourself ready to go, getting to where you are going. Let's say you get there and it's raining and there is a long wait for a table and you have to rush through dinner to make it back by the time you said you would be back. Was it worth all that inconvenience for 20 minutes of conversation with a friend? YES.
Relationships don't nurture themselves. They take effort. If you want to have people in your life, you need to be in theirs. And it's not always going to be on your timetable. Have you ever thought back and regretted meeting up with someone? Regretted going out of your way to say hello, to stop by someones house, to meet up with a group? I doubt it.
The anxiety usually comes from the experience either not going as you expected or as you would have liked. You wanted to have more time. You didn't want to have to make the drive. You didn't want to leave early to get the kids to bed. Someone was whiny, behaving badly - it might even have been you. ;)
Recently, my family and I went for a weekend to Chicago, which in my head would be rainbows and puppy dogs and family bliss. Of course in reality, the baby never slept when she was "supposed" to, the kids were wild at every restaurant we went to and my middle son threw tantrums at basically every turn. It wasn't exactly "fun." I would have lower expectations for next time, and possibly change up the schedule to have a little better success. BUT, my kids got to walk the streets of downtown Chicago, see the buildings and the parks, have the fun of a sleepover in a new place. We sat on the balcony looking at city lights, ate Chicago style hot dogs and walked down the city streets to get a donut. If I hadn't done it, they wouldn't have had those experiences. If I waited until my kids were older and better able to handle the situation, I would never have experienced their joy and innocence at seeing the city.
I never want to look back and say, I wish I had done more fun things with the kids but I was too nervous to try them. Or, I wish I was still in touch with those people but it's just hard to find the time. Of course everyone needs downtime and time to unwind and just be. But, I would encourage you - get out and be with people you love, experiencing all that is out there. You will rarely regret it!!
Thoughts for the day....
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