Going to the Jack-O-Lantern
Many, many years ago I got the lyrics wrong to an old song. I used to sing "going to the jack-o-lantern, gonna get maaaaaaarrried." It took awhile to know the word chapel and sing it correctly. It's a little funny that so many years later I got married during Halloween season, with pumpkins all over the place. On this day every year I reflect on marriage, and each year we are in a little different place, but I have always felt it was the best decision I ever made.
That doesn't mean it was necessarily an easy decision. I remember my boyfriend and I sitting in the car outside his senior year apartment, talking about possibly getting married one day. He wasn't proposing, we were just talking about whether or not we were ready for it and both wanted to do it. We decided we were. Then, shortly after, I panicked - I was so young! He was a great guy and all, but I mean there were probably other great guys! How do you even make such a life changing decision?! He, in his signature style, said that he knew what his decision was, but that I needed to be sure, and I could take all the time I needed to decide. His reaction to my panic, was and still is, the reason I am positive I made the right choice. I took a few days, decided I was sure, and a few months later we were engaged.
We had a pretty long engagement, and by the time the wedding came, we were more than ready. Some say the first year is difficult, but it didn't seem much harder to me, although it is slightly different because you are both aware of the permanency. I also think you start to become more involved in each others families, not just the two of you anymore. These were positives in my opinion, but I'm sure for some they can be stressors. We waited a few years and then had our first baby, then our second, then our third. And yes, these add stress too. You adjust to a new normal after each one and we found our rhythm more comfortably with some changes than others.
I am usually fairly confident, but I truly feel like much of our marriage's success to this point is because of my husband. As I've written about before, people don't change much, for good or for bad. Those same qualities that he had when we were teenagers are his greatest strengths today and I am so thankful for his ability to balance me out. I've always joked that he can be "boring" - he is the same every single day. But for someone like me, so quick to change moods and opinions, always trying to do more, think more, worry more, juggle more - an even keeled, same every day, steady guy is just perfect for me. There is a laundry list of other good qualities, and a couple things he could work on of course, but today is about celebrating and I just wanted to take a minute to write about this particular good in my life. Special shout out to my main squeeze for being the best guy, for me.
Thoughts of the day...
That doesn't mean it was necessarily an easy decision. I remember my boyfriend and I sitting in the car outside his senior year apartment, talking about possibly getting married one day. He wasn't proposing, we were just talking about whether or not we were ready for it and both wanted to do it. We decided we were. Then, shortly after, I panicked - I was so young! He was a great guy and all, but I mean there were probably other great guys! How do you even make such a life changing decision?! He, in his signature style, said that he knew what his decision was, but that I needed to be sure, and I could take all the time I needed to decide. His reaction to my panic, was and still is, the reason I am positive I made the right choice. I took a few days, decided I was sure, and a few months later we were engaged.
We had a pretty long engagement, and by the time the wedding came, we were more than ready. Some say the first year is difficult, but it didn't seem much harder to me, although it is slightly different because you are both aware of the permanency. I also think you start to become more involved in each others families, not just the two of you anymore. These were positives in my opinion, but I'm sure for some they can be stressors. We waited a few years and then had our first baby, then our second, then our third. And yes, these add stress too. You adjust to a new normal after each one and we found our rhythm more comfortably with some changes than others.
I am usually fairly confident, but I truly feel like much of our marriage's success to this point is because of my husband. As I've written about before, people don't change much, for good or for bad. Those same qualities that he had when we were teenagers are his greatest strengths today and I am so thankful for his ability to balance me out. I've always joked that he can be "boring" - he is the same every single day. But for someone like me, so quick to change moods and opinions, always trying to do more, think more, worry more, juggle more - an even keeled, same every day, steady guy is just perfect for me. There is a laundry list of other good qualities, and a couple things he could work on of course, but today is about celebrating and I just wanted to take a minute to write about this particular good in my life. Special shout out to my main squeeze for being the best guy, for me.
Thoughts of the day...
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