Always Assume The Best
I was in the dentists office a few weeks ago and the show Fixer Upper was playing in the waiting room. Out of nowhere, a man announced, "You know their channel dropped them; they were doing things they shouldn't have and it's just a shame the show is done now." I'm not entirely sure who he was talking to, or if he was an expert on Fixer Upper. I also think he's wrong; everything I've read about why their show is ending has nothing to do with HGTV dropping them, but hey, I'm no Fixer Upper expert either.
It is the perfect mini-example of how we, as people, take any small piece of negative news, and assume the worst. Fixer Upper won't be on TV anymore, so obviously something terrible happened. Think about it - what is your first thought if someone says they "need to talk to you." If it's your boss, you are sure you're fired; if it's your mom, someone has cancer; if it's your child they definitely broke something. Say you are at a wedding and a friend is there but their spouse "couldn't make it." Are they getting divorced? See a picture from a get together you weren't at? Those people probably don't like you.
Why is it everyone's natural instinct to assume that the worst possible outcome is reality?
It is a coping mechanism. No one wants to feel silly by assuming things are fine, but later being caught off guard when they are not. It leads to feelings up stupidity and foolishness. We feel gullible - how could I have thought everything was fine when there were so many warning signs that it wasn't?
So, instead we look for warning signs constantly. We look for opportunities to assume we were excluded from things, lied to, manipulated or led astray. Despite the fact that we are not excluding people, lying to them, manipulating them or purposely leading people astray, we come to the conclusion that other people still probably are.
This negative self talk leads to anxiety about events that are unlikely to happen. We assume every news story we've ever seen will manifest itself in our own life. And that leads to unnecessary worry, avoidance of situations or people and negative thought patterns.
A challenge for the new year is to always assume the most innocent outcome. What harm can happen? Even if something bad does happen, will it hurt you to just find out when it happens instead of when you assumed it did? I think it's worth trying just to find out.
Thoughts of the day....
It is the perfect mini-example of how we, as people, take any small piece of negative news, and assume the worst. Fixer Upper won't be on TV anymore, so obviously something terrible happened. Think about it - what is your first thought if someone says they "need to talk to you." If it's your boss, you are sure you're fired; if it's your mom, someone has cancer; if it's your child they definitely broke something. Say you are at a wedding and a friend is there but their spouse "couldn't make it." Are they getting divorced? See a picture from a get together you weren't at? Those people probably don't like you.
Why is it everyone's natural instinct to assume that the worst possible outcome is reality?
It is a coping mechanism. No one wants to feel silly by assuming things are fine, but later being caught off guard when they are not. It leads to feelings up stupidity and foolishness. We feel gullible - how could I have thought everything was fine when there were so many warning signs that it wasn't?
So, instead we look for warning signs constantly. We look for opportunities to assume we were excluded from things, lied to, manipulated or led astray. Despite the fact that we are not excluding people, lying to them, manipulating them or purposely leading people astray, we come to the conclusion that other people still probably are.
This negative self talk leads to anxiety about events that are unlikely to happen. We assume every news story we've ever seen will manifest itself in our own life. And that leads to unnecessary worry, avoidance of situations or people and negative thought patterns.
A challenge for the new year is to always assume the most innocent outcome. What harm can happen? Even if something bad does happen, will it hurt you to just find out when it happens instead of when you assumed it did? I think it's worth trying just to find out.
Thoughts of the day....
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