Mediocre Goals That Work for Me
My middle age angst must have laid off a bit these past few weeks since I haven't needed to write my feelings out much. It's been a fairly normal January - trying to eat less and work out more, trying to stay on budget and get things accomplished at work. We moved a few rooms around at the house which has created general chaos and much to clean. My husband's grandfather passed and that created a whole week of unexpected family gatherings. Then, we capped off the month with a work/fun trip out to Colorado. All in all I would call it an average, and great month.
Really it was a great mix of things I love. I want to be a good amount productive and adult. I want a nice mix of social and family gatherings. A weekend of luxury and travel thrown in is a nice addition. I feel like I have made an effort to get some important things back on track as well. If I could have just been outside more often in the sunshine without the windchill it would have been great.
I've written before about my inability to set firm goals for myself. Of course come January I always reflect on why I am so bad at it. I know it's that I don't want to disappoint myself, and it's hard to be disappointed when you didn't have any expectations, right? In reality though, I always have goals, I just try to keep them in perspective. I think you can maintain a much higher level of happiness in life if you are realistic about your (and others) abilities. So, in trying to think about my "goals," here is what I have come up with:
- Eat healthy whenever you can control it. If you are out at a group dinner and some delicious dinner is presented, don't beat yourself up. But for the meals you can control, make an effort, at the very least to balance out the ones you can't control.
- Work out a few times a week. Even if it's short, move your body for awhile every day or two. You sleep better, eat better and if you take a break your stamina goes down the drain. When the workout you are doing gets easier, try to go just a little longer.
- GET BACK ON THE WAGON QUICKLY. This applies to the first two. Inevitably there will be a week where the first two get way off track (sickness, travel, general apathy). The most important thing you can do is get back on the wagon as quickly as possible. The bad effects are not from the actual event, they are from staying off the wagon long after the event. The quicker you get back on, the better off you'll be.
- Put down the item! You really don't need that..... cute shirt, lip gloss, notebook, wicker basket, wall hanging, juicer, new yoga mat, ballet flats, clutch.... you get the picture. Put your credit card away. Try to find fun experiences for the family instead of expensive excursions. Be creative at home. Use all the crap in your house you already bought.
- Go to sleep with a clean(ish) house. Spending 20 min a night straightening and cleaning is obnoxious but so, so necessary. With three small kids it is impossible to keep this place in any good condition but making an effort each night goes a long way.
- Give each child some one on one time each day. This sounds easy but isn't. Between work, school, taking care of a house, dinner, bath and bedtime, the day can go by in a flash. Research shows that even a small amount of individual attention can go a long way though, so that is what I am trying for.
I could list more: be present, read more, make an effort to stay connected to friends and family, achieve goals at work, be a better wife, be a better daughter, etc. Most of these are intangible goals that I am equally working toward but are harder to measure. All the things on the list are tangible, and therefore easier to mention. Continuing to be a random blogger can be on my list too. ;)
I truly feel like most people are working to better themselves every day, and setting strict goals only sets us up for potential failure and an opportunity to shame ourselves. Think of all the things you did this week - got to where you needed to be on time, brushed your teeth every day, did the dishes after you ate, made your bed, called who you were supposed to call, listened to your children talk about something you didn't care about, went to a meeting, picked up groceries, paid your bills. Don't discount all the things it takes to even get to the point where you care about anything I mentioned. Now once you are done patting yourself on the back for that, just try to do the same or a tiny bit better tomorrow.
Thoughts for the day....
Really it was a great mix of things I love. I want to be a good amount productive and adult. I want a nice mix of social and family gatherings. A weekend of luxury and travel thrown in is a nice addition. I feel like I have made an effort to get some important things back on track as well. If I could have just been outside more often in the sunshine without the windchill it would have been great.
I've written before about my inability to set firm goals for myself. Of course come January I always reflect on why I am so bad at it. I know it's that I don't want to disappoint myself, and it's hard to be disappointed when you didn't have any expectations, right? In reality though, I always have goals, I just try to keep them in perspective. I think you can maintain a much higher level of happiness in life if you are realistic about your (and others) abilities. So, in trying to think about my "goals," here is what I have come up with:
- Eat healthy whenever you can control it. If you are out at a group dinner and some delicious dinner is presented, don't beat yourself up. But for the meals you can control, make an effort, at the very least to balance out the ones you can't control.
- Work out a few times a week. Even if it's short, move your body for awhile every day or two. You sleep better, eat better and if you take a break your stamina goes down the drain. When the workout you are doing gets easier, try to go just a little longer.
- GET BACK ON THE WAGON QUICKLY. This applies to the first two. Inevitably there will be a week where the first two get way off track (sickness, travel, general apathy). The most important thing you can do is get back on the wagon as quickly as possible. The bad effects are not from the actual event, they are from staying off the wagon long after the event. The quicker you get back on, the better off you'll be.
- Put down the item! You really don't need that..... cute shirt, lip gloss, notebook, wicker basket, wall hanging, juicer, new yoga mat, ballet flats, clutch.... you get the picture. Put your credit card away. Try to find fun experiences for the family instead of expensive excursions. Be creative at home. Use all the crap in your house you already bought.
- Go to sleep with a clean(ish) house. Spending 20 min a night straightening and cleaning is obnoxious but so, so necessary. With three small kids it is impossible to keep this place in any good condition but making an effort each night goes a long way.
- Give each child some one on one time each day. This sounds easy but isn't. Between work, school, taking care of a house, dinner, bath and bedtime, the day can go by in a flash. Research shows that even a small amount of individual attention can go a long way though, so that is what I am trying for.
I could list more: be present, read more, make an effort to stay connected to friends and family, achieve goals at work, be a better wife, be a better daughter, etc. Most of these are intangible goals that I am equally working toward but are harder to measure. All the things on the list are tangible, and therefore easier to mention. Continuing to be a random blogger can be on my list too. ;)
I truly feel like most people are working to better themselves every day, and setting strict goals only sets us up for potential failure and an opportunity to shame ourselves. Think of all the things you did this week - got to where you needed to be on time, brushed your teeth every day, did the dishes after you ate, made your bed, called who you were supposed to call, listened to your children talk about something you didn't care about, went to a meeting, picked up groceries, paid your bills. Don't discount all the things it takes to even get to the point where you care about anything I mentioned. Now once you are done patting yourself on the back for that, just try to do the same or a tiny bit better tomorrow.
Thoughts for the day....
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